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Flying Lessons

Title:  Flying Lessons (sequel to You Lift Me Up)
Author: Nubiangeek
Rating: NC-17 (deals with sexual abuse and violence)

Summary: Spiraling into the depths of madness and then soaring to the heights of passion,  two people find that they are flying with one wing.

Pairing:  Murdock and Pepper

Disclaimer:  I do not own the A-Team,  but oh what fun if I did!  Pepper,  however and the other original characters belong to me which you may use if you ask permission :)

Feedback:  Please,  please, please!

     She had been happy.  Happier than any other time in her life.  Murdock was wonderful,  loving and caring.  But,  then the nightmares started.  It always seemed to happen when Murdock wasn't in the room; making Pepper wonder if they even happened at all.  It got to the point that she was afraid to answer the phone.
     "Hello, Peaches.  How's daddy's little girl?"  The first time it happened,  he had taken her off-guard.  She hadn't heard from Fred Wallis since the confrontation with Murdock after they were 'married'.  That had been weeks ago.
     "What do you want,  Fred?"  She wasn't ready for what he had to say.
     "Do you remember. . .when you were fourteen - when I took you for the first time?"  She stiffened when she heard these words.
     "You were so young and beautiful then.  You wanted me,  too.  Do you remember?"  Pepper shook with fear.  She wanted to hang up,  but she couldn't get her hands to move.
     "So very soft and beautiful.  You used to come into my room when your mother was away.  You used to touch me.  Do you remember?"  This time she threw the phone down as if it were diseased.
     "I can't tell Murdock. . ."

     "Pepp.  you remember you gotta go see the Doc today."  She had to have a routine check-up so that she could renew her inhaler.
     "I remember."  She didn't look forward to it.  She also dreaded her sessions with Dr. Richter.  She was afraid that someone would discover her secret.
     Before she went out the door,  Murdock kissed her on the cheek.  She pulled away from him;  something she had been doing a lot of lately.
     "I'll be back in a little bit." 
     Murdock noticed.  He also remembered the nightmares she had the last few nights.  He had done his best to try to make her feel safe by holding her.  She pulled away from him.  He didn't understand it.  Maybe she didn't want to be with him any longer.
*****************************************************************************************************     "You really should do something with your hair.  Are they washing it?  You used to be so beautiful.  Do you remember, Peaches?  You were a beautiful little girl and so soft.  You liked to look at me naked.  Do you remember?"
     She woke up screaming,  again.  Pepper jumped out of bed and backed away.
     "No, no stay away."  Murdock didn't know what to do.  He tried to calm her.
     "Pepper,  honey, it's me.  Please come back to bed, sweetheart."  Murdock didn't realize it,  but all of his terms of endearment made things worse.
     "No,  don't call me that.  You stop that!"  She had hands over her ears and cowered in the corner.  Murdock couldn't handle it.
     The next day,  Murdock got in touch with Hannibal.  Hannibal,  Face and B.A.  came right out.
     "Something's wrong Hannibal.  She's having horrible nightmares.  I don't know what to do."  They could see that their friend was hurting.
     Hannibal had been thinking about Pepper and Fred Wallis.
     "We're going to have to put that scumbag away once and for all.  Face I want you to dig deep,  deeper than last time.  We need to get something on this guy.  Something more than a traffic ticket.  You understand?"  Face knew what was at stake.  He knew that his friend was in love.  They had talked about it many times before.  Face had seen a side of Murdock that he didn't know existed.
     "But  Hannibal,  what do I do while I wait?"  Hannibal could tell that Murdock was desperate.
     "Just love her Murdock.  Just love her."
     During waking hours,  Pepper became more difficult to handle.  Murdock thought that she was actually going crazy.
     "Hello, Peaches.  Do you remember the first hospital we sent you to?  Do you remember your friend Dr. Westin?  Well,  he sure remembers you.  He sends his love."  Then Fred gave a maniacal laugh that sent chills through Pepper.  She threw the phone down and screamed.
     Murdock,  who had been out talking to Hannibal and the others,  came running when Pepper screamed.  He tried towrap his arms around her,  but she was out of control.  She was screaming hysterically now.  He had to keep her quiet so that the orderlies didn't hear her.
     Please Peppy.  You gotta talk to me.  Remember when you tried to get me to talk to you?"  Murdock held up his sock puppet.
     "Ralph wants to talk to Ruthie.  Is she there?"  Pepper wanted to trust him,  but she didn't know who to trust.  Everyone she had ever trusted had betrayed her.
     "Murdock. . .?"  It was more a question than an acknowledgement of who he was.  then in the next moment,  she wasn't exactly sure who he was.
     "I'm here honey.  I'm here. Nobody's going to hurt you."
     He approached slowly, carefully.  He didn't want to scare her.  He slowly put his arms around her.  It was the first time that she had let him hold her in weeks.
     He sat with her on the floor holding her for what seemed to be several hours.
     Face returned to the latest scammed apartment to report what he had learned.
     "Fred Wallis was under investigation by the FBI before Pepper's mom was killed."  Face waited to let this piece of information sink in.  Hannibal was shocked about the latest development,  but not surprised.
     "What was the scum being investigated for?"  Hannibal agreed with B.A.'s earlier sentiment.  He couldn't wait to get his hands on this guy.
     "He was suspected of selling arms to certain militant groups.  Also,  the FBI doesn't believe that Pepper killed her mom.  They want to talk to her,  but 'ol Fred doesn't want that to happen.  The FBI doesn't know where she is.  Actually,  it worked to his advantage that Pepper -uh- married Murdock.  They're not looking for Patricia Murdock and since there's no marriage license. . ."  Both Face and B.A. could tell that the wheels were turning in Hannibal's head.
     "We're going to attack on two fronts.  If we can't get him for the arms mess,  we're gonna get him for the little pervert he is."
     Pepper had pretty much lapsed into a catatonic state.  This made it easy for Face to get them out claiming to take Pepper to a facility better suited to care for her.
     Murdock lovingly packed a small bag for her including the newly gained inhaler.

*****************************************************************************************************     They brought her into the gleaming white room.  She remembered how bright it was.  She had to squint to see.  The only items of furniture in the room were a bed and a chair.
     The two large men carried her over to the bed and tied her down.  She fought the whole time,  but the only response she received was a hard punch in the face.
     The he came in - Dr. Westin.  She could tell that he was a doctor because of the white coat.  Her spirits brightened because she thought that this man would help her.  She wanted to shout.  She wanted to say something to let him know how desperately she wanted to get away.  Her voice would not come out.
     "Your stepfather tells me that you're a very bad girl.  That you need discipline."
     Dr. Westin began undressing her.  His movements were slow and agonizing.  She tried to fight,  but the restraints were too tight.
     When Pepper was completely naked,  Dr. Westin undid his pants.  Pepper's eyes went wide with fear.  The horror of what he was about to do was all over her face.  She turned her head so that she couldn't see him,  but then she saw her stepfather looking at her through the observation window.  He had a sick grin on his face.
     Pepper now found her voice and the scream was ripped from her throat.  Reality came whooshing back.  She could feel the night air on her face and the twinkling lights of the city below her.  She was dizzy from the height.  She wanted to be grounded; to feel the earth under her feet.
     Murdock heard the scream.  They all did.  They came running out to find Pepper on the balcony of the apartment.
     "Oh my God!"  Murdock was frozen.  He didn't know what to do.  He was glad to know that the guys were there.
     Pepper started to climb up onto the railing.
     "Uh,  Pepper,  hon,  you need to come back inside."  She heard Face's voice,  the voice was familiar,  but she couldn't place the owner.
     "Pepper you gotta come back inside.  It's Murdock.  Murdock's hurt.  He needs you."  Murdock looked puzzled.  Face signaled him to wait and be quiet.
     "Murdock. . .?"  Pepper asked,  but she didn't move.  It was as if her knowledge of Murdock was floating down to her from the sky.  When it finally reached her,  she understood what Face was saying to her.
     "Murdock . . .?"  She asked again,  but this time she turned and moved slowly back into the apartment.  As soon as she was inside,  Murdock took her into his arms and held her.  Pepper had again returned to her catatonic state.
     Murdock took her in and put her back to bed.  When he returned,  he went straight to Hannibal.
     "Hannibal, I can't take it.  She's falling apart and there's nothing I can do."  Murdock let his face fall into his hands.
     "What do you mean she's missing?  Where did she go?  You were supposed to be keeping an eye on her."
     The other man tried to offer an explanation.
     "Well,  I did notice that her husband,  Mr. Murdock had some friends of his break him out every now and then.  Before he got married,  we thought that it was kinda funny and just turned our backs to it.  He always came back.  After he got married,  they kept doing the same thing."  Fred Wallis fell into a rage and slapped the man.
     "Why didn't you tell me this before?"  Wallis motioned to some other men in the room.  "Get rid of him."
     "Hannibal,  something's wrong.  She not actin' like she used to.  Somethin's making her act crazy"  B.A.  had hardly spoken during the whole ordeal.  He and Pepper had developed a sort of big brother/little sister relationship over the last few weeks.
     Hannibal looked as if he were thinking about something he had never thought about before.
     "What if she were being drugged?"  Murdock,  who had zoned out into his own private world,  suddenly came back.
     "Nope.  I was careful not to let her take anything.  I was careful. . . "
     "Well, at least she's safe now.  She's no longer in the hospital."  Hannibal said.
     I was back in the jungles of 'Nam.  We were waiting to pick up Bravo Company from a routine mine sweep.
     Charlie had been playing hide-and-seek lately;  setting mines during the night and blowing up G.I.'s during the day.  Made for a full schedule. 
     My L.T.  was a hot shot we called Bushwacker - for obvious reason.
     "H.M.  what you look so serious for.  This is routine.  Lighten up,  buddy."  L.T. was always worried about me;  he knew I was going crazy even then.
     Then it happened.  Charlie began to lay down fire which was unusual to their pattern over the last few days.  We expected Bravo Company would be wanting a dustoff any minute now,  so we made ready.
     They came scurrying out of the bush like rats.  Charlie had set a trap and he was springing it.    
     I saw my friend Short Timer,  who was supposed to go home in three days,  running for the chopper.  I was glad to see that he'd made it.  Then all Hell broke loose.  Short Timer had stepped on a mine. 
     Oh God,  Oh God!" I heard myself say.  I was outta the chopper in a flash.  I barely heard L.T. screaming for me to come back.  I had to see what I could do to help.  I ran over to 'Timer.  When the smoke cleared,  I got a better look at him.  The mine had ripped him in half.  It reminded me of that scene in the Wizard of Oz where the Monkies had ripped the Scarecrow in half.  His legs were over there and his body was over there.
     He was still alive and flipping like a fish on land.  He was looking up at me with terror-filled eyes.
     "Kill me,  H.M.  Kill me.  Come on man.  I 'm in pain,  kill me."  I wanted to help him.  He was my friend.  I raised the gun and shot him.
     L.T.  and the other guys covered my butt,  but they stayed away from me after that.

     I stayed away from the other inmates.  They were all curious as to who I was,  but I wouldn't let anyone get close.  After what Dr.  Westin did to me,  I don't trust anyone now.
     Further evidence that I'm going crazy, I keep hearing my father talking to me.  Not Fred Wallis, but my real father.  He's been dead for twenty-five years.  I didn't want to listen to him at first,  but then his voice became soothing.  It counteracted the harsh,  terrifying voice of Fred Wallis.

                            Little Voice Inside
Father do you hear me
'Cause I know I hear you
I waited for the answers
While sitting here in my room
I danced to the rhythm
And moved by myself
No one could see through me
Or hear the words I felt
Little voice inside keeps calling
Little voice inside it cries
Little voice inside keeps calling
Little voice - oh won't you be my guide
I sometimes hear the echo
The pattern of my cry
I sometimes feel the pulling
From a sound that's deep inside
Quiet are the whispers
and silent are my eyes
No one hears but me
That little voice inside, you see

(Written by Chris Harris, Joey Elwood & Toby McKeehan
Sung by Jaci Velasquez)

Flying Part 2