THE TRIANGLE
By: L. M. Shard


It had been about six months since Agent Fox Mulder 
was released from his alien abductors. He had gone 
through unspeakable pain and torture on a daily basis. 
Needles, probes, drills, drastic climate changes, 
endurance tests…you name it, it was done to him. And 
then one day they just released him, no explanation, 
like yesterday's trash. As far as Mulder was concerned, 
he didn't care why they let him go he was just so 
grateful to be out of that living hell. His single thought, 
the only constant that kept him sane throughout his 
ordeal, was Scully. She was his anchor to this earth, 
his anchor to his soul. He loved her more than he could 
ever say. And that was just the problem: he didn't say, 
he hadn't told her that he loved her. He had been back 
on this earth for six months after having gone through 
the worst experience of his lifetime and he still hadn't 
told her that he loved her.

Agent Dana Scully was thrilled when Mulder had been 
returned. Her prayers had finally been answered. She 
spent weeks nursing him back to health. Her joy of his 
return was eminent in everything she did. Although it 
was unlike her in the past, she now smiled at the world, 
going through life as if she were on some sort of happy 
drug. But like all drugs, the high started to wear off. 
With each passing month and not a word of love from 
Mulder, Scully was starting to think that maybe Mulder 
didn't love her in the romantic sense afterall. Her heart 
was heavy with the realization that he may never say 
those three little words to her. But who was she to talk? 
She couldn't admit her feelings to him either. With a 
love so great, the risk was just too enormous. So when 
Agent John Doggett asked her to dinner, she accepted. 
She was hesitant at first, felt almost guilty for accepting, 
but decided she couldn't put her life on hold any longer. 
Afterall, what harm could one dinner do?

Scully hated Doggett at first and resented that he was 
made her partner in Mulder's absence. She couldn't 
imagine a partner other than Mulder. But slowly she 
grew to admire and trust him. His respect for her and 
his fervor in his search for Mulder, made Scully realize 
what a good man Doggett was.

Although she was loath to admit it, she was excited 
about her dinner date with Doggett. It had been a long 
time since a man had asked her out. And since Mulder 
wasn't showing any signs of being interested in her in 
the romantic sense, she had nothing to lose. Her heart 
had been broken long enough in her unrequited love for 
him. It was time to start mending it.

At 5:00 sharp Scully grabbed her coat and purse and 
headed for the door. "See you tomorrow, Mulder."

"Going home so soon, Scully?" Mulder asked with 
surprise. She usually never left work before 7:00.

"Yes. I've got a date," she stated matter-of-factly, 
wondering if this news would upset him in the least.

Mulder was stunned. Not that someone would be 
interested in her – she was gorgeous in every way – but 
he had always hoped she was saving herself for him. 
"Yeah, eight years, you idiot. How long is she 
supposed to wait for you to ask her out?" He scolded 
himself, angry at his own cowardice. 

"Have fun," he croaked out, hiding the envy in his voice.

"I'm sure I will," she said, and flashed him a big smile.

Scully spent an hour trying to decide what to wear, all 
the while thinking about how unfazed Mulder sounded 
at her news of her date. She wanted to make Mulder 
jealous, if that was at all possible. Maybe seeing that 
someone else was interested would make him take 
some action toward a romantic relationship with her. Or 
maybe it would just push him further away. She just 
couldn't keep her personal life on hold any more. 
Perhaps that was why she was taking so long in trying 
to decide what to wear. She finally settled on a tight 
midnight blue sheath dress that showed some 
cleavage, but wasn't too revealing.

Promptly at 7:00 the doorbell rang and Scully opened it 
up to find Doggett standing before her. Her first thought 
upon seeing him was that she found him rather 
attractive, something she hadn't thought about before. 
He was a tall, lean man with clear blue eyes and a 
chiseled jaw. Very handsome indeed. Not as 
handsome as Mulder, but, of course, in her mind, no 
one was as handsome as Mulder.

"Hi, Agent Scully. You look beautiful," Doggett said 
admiringly. She really was stunning. He felt so lucky 
that she had accepted this date.

"Thank you," she replied, her face reddening. "Please 
call me Dana."

"Shall we, Dana?" he asked, extending his arm and 
giving her a big smile.

"Yes, let's go." She took his arm and they headed to 
the restaurant. 

The evening turned out to be more wonderful than she 
ever could have imagined. Doggett was charming and 
funny and he showed great interest in everything she 
had to say. He opened up to her about his past in the 
Marines, on the police force, and some of his childhood 
days. She found it very easy to talk to him and felt 
completely comfortable, as if she were talking to an old 
friend. She talked of her past as well, yet made an 
effort to keep Mulder out of the conversation. They left 
the restaurant about three hours later, laughing and 
giddy from the wine.

Arriving at Scully's apartment, Doggett walked her to 
her front door.

"I'd invite you in, but being a work day tomorrow, I really 
have to get some sleep," Scully said as she fumbled for 
her keys.

"I understand," Doggett said, disappointed. He did not 
want the night to end; he was having so much fun with 
her.

"I had a wonderful time with you, John. It's been a long 
time since I have laughed so much. It felt really good," 
she said, looking straight into his blue eyes.

"I had a great time too. Maybe we could do it again 
some time?"

"I'd love to."

"Great," he said. God, she was so beautiful! Why 
Mulder hadn't snapped her up was beyond him. "Well, 
I'd best be going…" he said, really not wanting to move 
away from her at all. His eyes held hers, searching.

"Yeah…" she breathed, not wanting him to go either. 
Maybe the wine was getting to her.

He thought he saw a flicker of permission in her eyes 
and he slowly lowered his lips to hers. He was 
surprised when she didn't move away, but rather met 
him half way. Her lips were sweet and soft and it was 
all he could do not to intensify the kiss. He didn't want 
to overstep his bounds. They parted for a moment and 
again he looked into her eyes. He hoped they mirrored 
his own. Their lips met again, but this time the slow, 
chaste kiss turned deeper and more passionate. Their 
tongues came together in an arousing dance. She 
tasted like wine and honey and his knees started to 
buckle from his sudden intense emotions. He couldn't 
believe he was actually kissing Dana Scully, a woman 
he thought was off limits to him, a woman he desired 
since their first encounter. 

Scully surprised herself by thoroughly enjoying this kiss 
from a man that was not Mulder. Her passion grew and 
for a moment she lost herself in it completely. She 
wrapped her arms tightly around his firm body and 
pressed him closer, weaving her fingers through the 
hair at the nape of his neck. But then she suddenly felt 
an overwhelming pang of guilt and hastily pushed 
Doggett away.

"I'm sorry," she stuttered, with her hand on his chest. 
"I've got to go," she said quietly, unlocking the door and 
shutting it quickly behind her. She leaned against the 
back of the door, her heart racing wildly, the blood 
rushing in her ears. All her emotions had hit her at 
once: intense lust and attraction for a man other than 
Mulder, which brought about onerous feelings of shame 
and guilt. She felt like she was betraying Mulder and 
the love she thought – hoped - they shared. But in 
reality she didn't know how Mulder felt about her. She 
could only guess. But she couldn't live her life on 
assumptions anymore.

Doggett stood there confused, hurt, and a bit 
embarrassed. Perhaps he had overstepped his bounds 
afterall. He must have read her wrong. Unless she 
really did have a thing for Mulder. He had long 
suspected that the two of them shared something. The 
way they looked at each other and were so protective of 
each other. They had to be in love. But he never saw 
any signs of a romantic love. Slowly, he turned to 
leave.

Just then the door opened and Scully stood in the 
hallway. "John," she called in a wavering voice.

He turned around and walked back to her. She looked 
distraught.

"I'm sorry --," he started.

"No, I'm sorry," she interrupted. "I enjoyed this evening 
with you and I enjoyed your kiss. It's just…" she looked 
down at her feet as her words trailed off, not sure of 
how to continue.

"Mulder," he said.

Scully looked up at him, surprised that he would bring 
up his name. Yet he hit it on the nail. "Yeah," she 
admitted in a small voice.

"You're in love with him, aren't you?" Doggett asked, 
fearing the worst.

"Yes," she said looking down again. Doggett's heart 
sank. 

"And he's in love with you?" Doggett asked.

"I'm not sure." She paused, not knowing how much she 
should tell him. Then she just blurted it out," I don't 
know if he is interested in me in that way."

Doggett was silent for a while and then gently put his 
finger under her chin and lifted her face to meet his. He 
looked right into her eyes and said, "Well, I'm 
interested. Let me know if you are." With that he gave 
her a quick, soft kiss on the lips and left.

Scully stood there in shock just watching him walk 
away. She had just admitted to this wonderful man that 
she was in love with another man, yet he had the 
courage to tell her that he was interested in her anyway. 
If only Mulder had half the courage to speak his heart 
as Doggett did, they might now be together. "Enough "if 
onlys" and "what ifs"," she thought to herself. She 
made the decision right then and there to continue 
dating Doggett. Mulder had his chance. He had had 
eight years of chances! 

The next morning she arrived at work to find Mulder 
already at his desk. "Good morning," she said, cheerily.

"Good morning," he replied, then asked as nonchalantly 
as he could, " So, how was your date?"

"It was great! We really had a fun time together." She 
wondered if he was jealous.

"Anyone I know?" He asked, again trying hard to sound 
casual.

"John Doggett."

"Doggett?" he repeated surprised.

"Yes, Doggett," she said.

"Doggett?" he couldn't help but repeat the name again.

"Yes. Do you have a problem with that?" she asked, 
starting to get angry.

"No, no," he said quickly and then fell quiet. He was in 
shock. Doggett. She was dating another agent! 
Apparently she didn't care about protocol afterall. How 
could she? What did Doggett have that he didn't? 
Mulder's heart ached. He didn't know what to do. So 
he threw himself back into his work, saying nothing 
more.

Scully noticed how uncharacteristically quiet Mulder had 
become. Had she hurt his feelings by going out on a 
date with Doggett? Maybe he didn't like him. But why 
would he care whom she dated? It's not like he was 
interested in dating her himself. Or was he? She 
wondered. Could he really be jealous? She didn't 
know what to say either, so she said nothing and kept 
herself buried in paperwork. 

After hours of working in silence with only occasional 
small talk, she made another decision. If Mulder wasn't 
going to be interested in her romantically, she wasn't 
going to miss out on possible romance or love 
elsewhere. She picked up a file and walked to 
Doggett's office.

"Agent Scully," Doggett said, seeing her standing in his 
office doorway. "Can I help you?" He was thrilled to 
see her, even if she had only come to discuss business. 
He couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked. 
Her hair was pulled back exposing the delicate features 
of her face more fully, and her cheeks were flushed.

She took a deep breath. "I have a file you might find 
interesting," she said, walking towards his desk, hand 
outstretched.

"Thank you." He took a quick peek at the file. "This 
should shed some light on the case I'm working on."

He looked up at her and their eyes locked. Moments 
passed and neither spoke. Then Scully turned and took 
two steps toward the door before gathering her courage 
and turned to face him again. She looked him straight 
in the eye and simply said, "I'm interested." Giving him 
a killer smile she turned to go, but before she reached 
the door, Doggett's hand was on her arm.

He had a huge smile on his face and looked more 
handsome than she had ever seen him before. His 
Caribbean blue eyes gleamed. "Will you go out to a 
movie with me tonight?"

"If you throw in dinner, I might say 'yes' ", she said 
playfully.

"You got it: dinner and a movie," he said with a laugh. 
"Pick you up at 6:00?"

"Sounds good." She smiled, happy with herself that she 
had made this step.

They talked and laughed a bit more until they heard, 
"Excuse me."

They turned around and saw an almost depressed 
looking Mulder standing in the doorway. "Here's that 
file you needed, Doggett," he simply said, handing the 
file to the agent. He turned to leave, but Scully touched 
his arm and he turned to look at her.

"Are you okay, Mulder," she asked in a whisper, 
referring to the sadness in his eyes.

"I'm fine," he replied, using her favored response. Then 
he walked away in silence.

But he wasn't fine. In fact he was in shock. He couldn't 
believe what he saw developing before his eyes. The 
woman he loved more than anything in the world was 
starting to fall for Doggett. He saw how happy she was 
after her date with him. And, moreover, he had just 
observed first-hand the chemistry the two had together. 
They were so comfortable with each other, joking and 
laughing, yet there was an unmistakable attraction 
between them. Mulder's heart stopped, and as the 
realization of what his eyes had seen sunk into his 
brain, he felt the most unbearable pain thoughout his 
entire being. If he didn't do anything soon, he was 
going to lose her. Maybe he had already. He had to 
get out of there. His mind screamed and he left the 
building for home. It was already almost 4:00; no one 
would miss him.

Scully definitely thought she saw sadness in Mulder's 
eyes and she decided she would go to his place after 
her date. Hopefully he would tell her what was troubling 
him. He'd been very quiet all day. If she didn't know 
any better, she'd think he was jealous.

Doggett picked Scully up at 6:00 and drove them to the 
movie house. They choose a romantic comedy called 
"Return to Me" about a man who falls in love with a 
woman who has his late wife's heart. The theatre was 
only half full, so they choose a seat towards the back 
and made themselves comfortable. Scully noticed that 
the main male character had a striking resemblance to 
Mulder. Both men were definitely incredibly attractive. 
She thought of Mulder and his odd demeanor that day 
and hoped he was okay. She was worried about him 
and was anxious to get in contact with him, so she 
decided that she would call him after the movie ended. 

They lost themselves in the world of the film, laughing 
at times and shedding a few tears at others. At one 
point Doggett put his arm around Scully and drew her 
close to him. She laid her head on chest and felt a 
wave of comfort and peace wash over her. This felt so 
right. Although little pangs of guilt surfaced in her mind 
from time to time, she admonished herself for feeling 
them at all, considering she was doing nothing wrong. 
Mulder just wasn't interested, or else he would have 
made a move long ago. Having resigned herself to this 
thinking, she allowed herself to feel more and more in 
tune to the man sitting beside her.

Doggett was in his own personal heaven having Scully 
nestled on his chest. Her hair smelled like flowers and 
was softer than silk. He had to make a conscious effort 
not to steal a kiss from her and lose himself completely. 
For the first time since his tragic turning point in life, he 
felt that he could let go and love this beautiful woman. 
Since then he had not been able to let anyone in his 
heart. But he could let Dana Scully in; he already had.

The movie ended and before the credits stopped rolling 
Scully excused herself and went to the restroom. There 
she called Mulder from her cell phone. To her dismay, 
she got the machine.

"Hi, Mulder, it's me. You seemed a little down today, 
really quiet. I hope you're okay. I'll stop by later tonight. 
Bye." Why did she feel so bad? She had a nagging 
little guilty feeling in her brain as if something she had 
done had made him sad. But what? The only thing she 
could think of as to why he was down was the only thing 
she could rule out.

Back at his apartment, Mulder sat in the dark on his 
couch, his face in his hands, listening to Scully's 
message. How could she not know why he was 
depressed and in pain? It was a normal reaction when 
you see the woman you love so intimate and at ease 
with another man. But, then, of course, that was what 
she didn't know. He was in love with her. He could kick 
himself for not telling her before. Why didn't he at least 
tell her the moment he was released from the alien 
ship? He was such a coward when it came to feelings. 
He wiped away his fresh tears and grabbed another 
beer. Lucky for him, he had stocked up the day before. 

Scully pushed the confusion all out of her mind and 
joined Doggett in the lobby. They drove to a cozy, 
intimate Italian restaurant and ate in the glow of 
candlelight. The meal was delicious and the two agents 
enjoyed themselves immensely. Their conversation 
was open and free. It felt good to be so honest and 
uncensored. 

"So, you haven't said much about the movie," Scully 
said, realizing they had talked about almost everything 
but that. "Wasn't your style? Too much of a chick 
flick?"

Doggett smiled. "No, actually I liked it. It makes you 
think about the blessings you have in your own life and 
how you don't want to take them for granted."

"Yes," she agreed. "I don't know what I would have 
done had I been in Bob's shoes, losing his wife, the love 
of his life," Scully mused with empathy.

"You somehow survive," Doggett replied with a slight 
quiver in his voice.

Scully noticed the quiver and the sudden somber tone. 
"Are you speaking from experience?" she asked 
hesitantly.

"Let's get out of here and I'll tell you at my place, if that's 
alright with you?" He said soberly.

"Sure. Let's go," she replied.

They left the restaurant and drove in silence to his 
apartment. Scully was not uncomfortable in the 
silence, but a little concerned about what he was going 
to tell her. Up until they had started dating, Doggett 
was a very private man. He had told her almost nothing 
of his past. On their first date he did open up to her 
about his childhood and former jobs, but he had never 
mentioned anything about his personal adult life. 
Perhaps he too suffered from an unrequited love as 
Scully did.

His apartment was stark, but immaculate. It seemed 
like everything had its place. Most of the furniture was 
in either black or white with an occasional plant giving 
the place a burst of green. The kitchen was clean, not 
a dish in sight. She wondered if he even had food in 
the refrigerator or if he just lived on delivery pizza like 
Mulder. She noticed two framed photos sitting on the 
fireplace mantel. It is to these two photos that Doggett 
walked. Scully followed.

He took down the one of a beautiful woman with large 
brown eyes and long burgundy hair. She looked as if 
she were in her early thirties. He stared at the photo for 
a long time in silence. Then he spoke in almost a 
whisper, "This was my wife, Nicole. She died five years 
ago in a plane crash. And this," he reached for the 
other photo, "this was my son, Kevin. He was five. He 
died with his mother in the same crash."

Scully was stunned and overwhelmed with empathy 
and sorrow. She had had no idea that this man had 
suffered so much. "John," she said, her voice trailing 
off. "I am so sorry." She put her hand on his shoulder.

Doggett replaced the photos on the mantel and turned 
to face Scully. "I loved them so much. They were my 
life. I would have done anything to trade places with 
them." 

Tears formed in his eyes and Scully gathered him into 
her arms. She held him for a long time, her heart 
breaking for him and the pain he had suffered through 
and also for herself and the loss of her daughter. Her 
pain after losing Emily had been so great and she had 
only known the child for a short time. She couldn't 
imagine the pain Doggett must have gone though losing 
his wife and son all at once.

After a few minutes he released her and wiped away 
the moisture from his cheeks. "I'm sorry," he said 
referring to the tears. 

"Don't be sorry," she said quietly, stroking his cheek 
with her hand.

"It's just, you're the only one besides family that I've 
ever told. It's still very hard to talk about it."

"Don't feel that you have to tell me anything that you 
aren't ready to. But if you do want to talk about it, I am 
here for you," Scully said, then added, "I lost my 
daughter as well. I only knew her for a few days, but I 
died inside when I lost her."

Doggett looked deep into her eyes. They were flooded 
with tears from the memory. "I know. I read the case 
file when I was first assigned to the X-Files," he said 
softly. "She was a beautiful girl, your Emily."

They embraced each other again, each in their own 
world of pain. Then Doggett released her and cupped 
her face in his hands. "I feel that I can be open and 
honest with you, that I don't have to hide my past or 
anything from you. I haven't let anyone in my heart 
since she died. I haven't wanted to, until now," he said, 
hesitated, then continued, "I know we have only been 
dating recently, but since we met about a year ago, I 
have been very much attracted to you. With each 
passing day, I care more and more for you. I love your 
strength, your determination, your independence, your 
compassion, your inner beauty, everything that is you."

She was surprised and touched with his heart's 
outpouring. She had had an idea that he had feelings 
for her, but it wasn't until he actually said them that she 
realized she had feelings for him as well, yet she wasn't 
ready to say those three little words to him quite yet. 
Mulder was still in her heart as well. "John…" she 
started.

"Don't say anything, Dana. I know you are not ready 
to."

"Then let me show you," she said and pulled him into a 
soul-baring kiss. She let her emotions pour into the 
kiss and it became passionate, untamed, and 
unguarded. She wanted it to convey all the emotions 
she had for him that she could not yet verbalize. She 
wanted his pain to disappear as well as her own. She 
wanted to wipe the slate of life clean so love could 
blossom anew without hindrance.

He devoured her mouth with hunger and abandon. It 
was pure, it was true, it was raw. His excitement 
mounted and he was rock hard against her thigh. He 
took every ounce of control he could muster and pulled 
away from her. He knew she was not ready for the next 
step yet and didn't want the passion to lead her to do 
anything she would regret in the morning. He wanted 
her more than anything, but only when she was ready 
to give herself to him completely and without restraint.

"John," she said, breathlessly. She could feel the love 
and desire in his kiss. "Don't pull away. I want this."

"I want this too, believe me! But I know deep down you 
are not ready yet. Resolve your feelings for Mulder and 
I will be here waiting for you." His heart was beating 
wildly. He had just let this gorgeous woman go, and 
there was a good chance she wouldn't come back to 
him.

"Alright, I'll go," she said reluctantly. "Will I see you 
tomorrow?"

"If you want," he said simply. He had to let her come to 
him.

She smiled. "I do. I'll give you a call in the morning."

She gave him a final kiss: slow, sensuous, and yet 
profound. "I do care for you, John, very much."

He grabbed her again, before she turned around, and 
kissed her deeply for what he hoped would not be the 
last time.

She smiled and left his apartment.

Scully drove to Mulder's apartment thinking about the 
day's tumultuous events. She was definitely falling for 
Doggett, perhaps falling in love with him, but she loved 
Mulder too. "Well, this is a no-brainer, girl! John has 
deep feelings for you and shows his interest and Mulder 
doesn't. Be with John. He's a good man," she thought 
to herself. "Loving both will only bring you a lifetime of 
heartache."

When Mulder didn't answer after having knocked on his 
door several times, Scully let herself in with the spare 
key he had given her. She found Mulder sitting in the 
dark on the couch. There were several empty beer 
bottles on his coffee table. He looked a mess.

"Mulder," she called to him, worried. "Mulder, are you 
okay?"

"Okay? Okay!" He screamed, shocking her. "How can 
I be okay?"

"What's wrong? Why did you leave work early today? 
Why didn't you return my call?"

He stood up and looked her straight in the eye. "Do you 
really have to ask, Scully?"

Taken aback, she said, "Yes."

"Well then I'll spell it out for you!" He spat, the alcohol 
getting the better of him. "You were with Doggett! You 
two went on a date and you loved it!"

"Why does that bother you?" She asked confused.

"Why? Why! Dammit, Scully, you know why!" He 
yelled, his anger mounting.

"I don't, Mulder. Tell me," she said quietly.

He took her roughly by the shoulders and looked into 
her blue eyes. "Because I love you, Scully! I love you!" 

With that he pulled her towards him and crushed her 
mouth to his in a bruising, feral kiss. She fought him, 
but that just made him more persistent and almost 
violent. He intensified the kiss even more, and as his 
anger subsided and was replaced by passion, she 
responded in kind and opened herself up to him. They 
drank from each other as two people who had gone 
without water for days, trying to quench a thirst that had 
gone on for eight long years. Finally they had had just 
enough to sustain themselves for a moment to catch 
their breath.

He looked at her again and repeated, "I love you, 
Scully. I love you so much!"

"I love you too, Mulder." Finally she had said those 
sweet words to him. She had felt them for so long. But 
somehow her love for him felt different.

Tears streamed down his cheeks. "I thought I had lost 
you to Doggett."

For a brief moment she thought of Doggett and all they 
had shared tonight. But before she could complete her 
thought, Mulder was kissing her again, this time with 
such tenderness and love, she melted on the spot. The 
kiss grew into one of great desire and need and Scully 
lost herself in the sheer pleasure of it. Mulder's lust was 
evident as he pressed himself even closer to her, his 
hands roaming her body. 

"I want to make love to you," he whispered urgently in 
her ear.

She had wanted to hear his desire for her for so long, 
but something made her push him back a bit. "Mulder, 
you're drunk. I better go." She ran her thumb over his 
swollen lips then removed herself from his arms. 

He looked at her with pained eyes as she left the 
apartment. At least he had finally told her about his 
feelings. But he wasn't so sure she returned them. He 
threw himself onto the couch and sleep overcame him.

Neither Scully, Mulder nor Doggett slept well that night. 
Each was in his or her own anguish. The following 
morning Scully made some phone calls. The first was 
to Skinner to ask for a couple of days off. Then next 
was to Mulder to make sure he was alright and to tell 
him that she would be gone for the next couple of days 
to think things through. He did reiterate his love for her. 
He wanted her to know that it was not the booze talking. 
The last call was to Doggett to tell him of her time off so 
she could think through this emotional mess. She 
promised him and answer upon her return.

Scully spent the next two days at a friend's cabin, away 
from the city. It was good to be alone. She desperately 
needed time to sort through her conflicting emotions. 
The sereneness of the nature around her gave her 
troubled heart some peace.

She had been in love with Mulder close to eight years 
now. She had long considered him her soul mate and 
had hoped that one day they would be lovers, even 
husband and wife. But she had waited so long for him 
to finally declare his love for her. Maybe too long. She 
thought of the kisses she shared with him, how needy, 
lusty, then tender they were. Perhaps it was just a thirst 
that had to be quenched and now that it was, the 
romantic love turned to platonic love. She did want 
Mulder and had he not been drunk, she might have 
even considered losing herself in him and 
consummating that lust and love. But the feelings she 
had when kissing Mulder compared to the ones she had 
when kissing Doggett were very different. This 
surprised her greatly, because she never thought that 
she would be interested in anyone but Mulder. Kissing 
Mulder was like a conclusion to all she had fantasized 
about for the last several years, but kissing Doggett was 
like the beginning of a lasting, romantic love. With 
Doggett she did not only feel the lust, though that was 
definitely there, but also the depth of true, unhindered 
love. Love that would be there for a lifetime. Funny, 
because that is what she always felt about Mulder, but 
over the many years of denial, some of that was lost. 
She cried at this realization, cried for what she and 
Mulder could have had, cried for never acting on the 
mutual love they shared. The pain was like a death in 
her heart, but with every death, there is new life 
elsewhere. And that new life was John Doggett. She 
had made her decision and vowed to pursue it with 
fervor, hoping it would end in lasting happiness.

Two days later, Scully returned home. She unpacked, 
called Mulder, then drove to his place.

"Hi, Scully," he said as he opened the door for her. He 
was so glad to see her, hopeful, yet nervous about what 
her decision would be.

"Hi, Mulder," she replied and fell into his arms in a tight 
hug. They held each other for several minutes, neither 
talking, just tuning in to the beating of each other's 
hearts.

She released him and looked deeply into his eyes, not 
sure of how to start. "I love you, Mulder. I have almost 
since I met you. I trust you completely, I would give my 
life for you, and you are my touchstone as you say I am 
yours. I have wanted your love - your physical and 
emotional love - for so long. I fantasized about how it 
would be to kiss you, to make love with you, to hear you 
say those three little words. I wanted it. But it never 
happened. We were both too scared to admit our 
deepest feelings to each other, and now that we have, 
there is something between us."

"Doggett," Mulder whispered, choking back the tears 
that threatened to overflow.

"Yes," she said quietly. "I think that all these years of 
waiting for our declaration of love, slowly chipped away 
at that love, and when a new person came into my life 
and showed me the interest and attraction and love that 
I had been craving for, it took over my heart." By now 
tears filled Scully's eyes. She hated to hurt Mulder like 
this. But she couldn't string him along. He deserved 
much better.

Mulder was devastated. He felt completely empty. "I've 
lost you, my beautiful Scully. I've lost you," he said in 
despair.

"You haven't lost me," Scully said. "I will still always be 
there for you, if you want. I still want to work with you 
on the X-Files, our passion. I will still always be your 
best friend. And I will still love you with all my heart. So 
the only thing that has really changed is that our 
unrequited love for each other will be unrequited 
forever."

A tear tricked down Mulder's cheek. He could hold it 
back no longer. Scully leaned towards him and tenderly 
kissed it away. Mulder closed his eyes at the touch 
then took her hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing her 
palm. He loved this woman so much. He didn't know 
what he would do now. But he wanted her happiness 
most of all and if she found it with Doggett, then he was 
not going to stand in the way.

"I want your happiness more than anything, Scully. I 
hope you find it with Doggett."

She embraced him again. Upon parting, Mulder gently 
brushed his lips to hers in a goodbye kiss. They 
lingered lips to lips until they both slowly started moving 
and caressing each other's mouths. It was a 
bittersweet, lingering kiss, one of utter tenderness and 
love. A goodbye to things that could have been, but 
never were.

With that, Scully left in silence.

She held back her tears as she drove to Doggett's 
apartment, but as soon as she had parked her car the 
tears came spilling down her cheeks in a river. It hurt 
so much. She suddenly wasn't sure if she had made 
the right decision, but then she thought of Doggett and 
her heart filled with love. She took a few moments to 
collect herself and dry her eyes, then walked to 
Doggett's front door.

Doggett opened the door to find Scully before him. He 
had hoped she would stop by today, though he was 
anxious as to what she would say. Her eyes looked 
slightly puffy and red and her cheeks were tear-stained.

"You've been crying, Dana. What is it?" He asked with 
great concern.

"Just hold me," she said in a whisper. He took her in 
his arms immediately. His large body encircled her tiny 
one, trying to shield her from whatever was causing her 
pain.

They stood there and held each other for the next few 
minutes, saying nothing. Finally Scully spoke. "I was 
just at Mulder's," she started, looking directly into his 
eyes. "I told him that I loved him as my best friend, but 
that I am in love with you."

She loved him! Doggett couldn't believe what he was 
hearing. His heart burst with sheer joy. She had given 
up Mulder to be with him! This gorgeous, passionate, 
strong woman standing before him had chosen him 
over someone she had loved silently for almost eight 
years. He smiled and pure bliss radiated from his eyes. 

She saw his happiness and felt a wave of overwhelming 
love flood her heart. Then he swept her into a fiery 
kiss, his mouth devouring hers, sealing their love. It 
was an intense, all-encompassing kiss of passion, 
hunger, lust, and love. A lovers' kiss, the kind that 
blocks out the rest of the world.

Breathless, they parted for a moment and Doggett 
cupped her face in his hands. Looking deeply into her 
vibrant blue eyes, he spoke his heart, "I love you, 
Dana."

Scully smiled, finally completely happy and at peace, 
and said, "I love you too." 


THE END


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